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I wish all spiders looked like Andrew Garfield.
Can you imagine though?
You’re walking around your house and then you see a really tiny Andrew Garfield running around in costume.
i thought we were talking about andrew garfield’s head on a spider’s body
my mom was carrying her ipad and a piece of pizza but she stumbled and dropped her ipad on the floor but held tight to her pizza and i’m so glad i know where my priorities come from
hey, you can’t talk to my grandson like that someone oughta put you in a mental hospital
SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER, GRANDMA
you’re probably right
“Ah, Perry the platypus!”
“What an unexpected -“
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”
“By societal convention!”
“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”
This show is fucking brilliant.
marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs
I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they
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